Dantean Thought Process Excerpt

This is a short sample of what goes on behind the scenes in my mind. I kid you not, this legitimately happened one fine night. Dantean was a story I planned on writing, but the plot got to convoluted, complicated and bizarre. Not to mention that the number of characters and species just went whoosh out the window, because there was… Just. Too. Much.

This excerpt comes from the middle of the thought process, so most of it won’t make any sense to you, dear reader. But it is one hell of a funny read. Hope you enjoy this trip into my subconscious.


Crowd: *gasp*

I know unprecedented, right? But we’re not there yet, so we’ll keep that in the back of my mind. Where did Lucern learn his Corruption and why did he want to dominate the world? Well because secretly he wasn’t the Corruption’s origin, he was just a tool! Oh noes! They didn’t kill the bad guy? No, they didn’t and this bad guy won’t be the boss either, BUT he will tell them what they need to know to work out that its Bandar. Now… what can his power be? … We know it will probably be Kandric’s dear old dad but what does he do that’s so darn terrible?

Let’s introduce a new creature.


Well we’ve got dragons and nightwraiths; let’s get a new one.


So, what can it be…?

(Why don’t you think along the lines of wispy screelings?)

Ah, that’s a fine plan.

(I know).

Shut up. So, a skeletal looking bastard that is wispy? Good, what can we call it?


Not screelings, that would be plagiarism.

(Oh darn).

What about darklings? That’s a story and a plot that I’m never going to use again, I might as well reuse the names, I’ve done it before.

(Isn’t that plagiarising?)

You can’t plagiarise yourself, can you? Don’t answer that.


Darklings it is then. J what do they do… well, let me explain:

A darkling is something that can be controlled by a daichan who has control over what we call umbraldachau, which is basically –

(Not really, it’s more complicated than basic, but whatever.)

BASICALLY, an evildachauthat allows the user to summon darklings. It is rare and isn’t really defined anywhere as a specificdachauin and of itself –

(Because it’s so damn complicated.)

Shush. It is similar to Corruption in that it allows you to control people, but these people are really being controlled by darklings and give the human host powers.

(Hence Lucern’s Corruption power, it wasn’t his, he it was the darkling’s.)

Thisdachaugoes beyond that though, this is power over the shadows, over night itself. And the dead.

(So it’s known to normal people as necromancy).

Whatever, just shut up. As the dead are ruled by a man –

(Man or demon?)

Does it matter? Let me tell this. A man/demon who is supposed to walk the world of the living bent on world domination, he takes control of humans to do his bidding, be it through persuasion or simply taking their lives, they become his unknowing slaves and they do everything he commands. That’s why no one knows that it’s him doing all the nasty stuff in the world. He believes that if he can provide enough distractions and a plot thick enough –

(To make a trilogy)

– he can divert attention from himself and keep people chasing their tails.

(So he’s a myth).

No, he’s very real, he’s called Temptation.

(But in this story let’s call him Bandar).

No, Bandar is the Dragon Lord of Elua, Temptation is controlling him, like a host.

(That’s not plagiarism).

It’s not, my idea, all mine.

(So… Temptation is using Bandar as a physical host.)

Yes and Akiro doesn’t know.

 (Right, and he’s using Bandar to make false bad guys to give you two books so you can conclude this as a trilogy, yes?)

Well, yes… but…

(No wait, how do you plan on getting these characters of yours to kill him if he’s the equivalent of the devil?)

I was getting to that before you interrupted me. So, he’s a demon, or a darkling, but the most powerful darkling ever to have existed – not Lucifer, or the devil, or a demon, a darkling called Temptation – and the only thing that can kill a darkling is Destruction dachau. Thedachauthat can destroy anything that it’s used against.

(Great, so now you need a character with this power, a power that drives them mad. Where are you going to find one of them?)

Luckily for me, I already have one.

(Oh really?)

Yes, Kandric.

(Nuh-uh, he’s a Telekinesis daichan.)

Or is he? Destruction daichan still have control over that power. He is from Aeliteir and Gehenna is his. Or rather, his mother gave Gehenna to Bandar to give to him when he was old enough.

(So are you saying that Bandar got a hold of the weapon and the child that could kill him and he let them live?)

If he killed Kandric and kept the sword don’t you think he’d look very much a bad guy?

(Yeah, he would, but he’d be a smart, invulnerable bad guy.)


No, he wouldn’t, because Gehenna still has Destructiondachauin it-

(You never mentioned that before. You’re just making it up now.)

Am not. It was implied that Gehenna had Destruction, you just weren’t listening. So as I was saying, Gehenna has Destruction and so can be wielded by anyone to kill Temptation, it’s just easier for Kandric to use it because it’s his sword and I like his character.

(Blah! You got sidetracked. If there is going to be a boss bad guy in Bandar/Temptation, who’s going to be the mini bad guy in the second one that you don’t have a plot for yet? And what happens to the Duen-Jaana-Kandric triangle?)

So now you’re curious… Well, there can be another darkling, oh btws, a darkling was controlling Lucern but we don’t know that yet. Anyway, what are some names for the dark riders?

(War, famine, plague… I don’t know…)

What about the deadly sins?

(Gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, yup, I’m out)

Fat lot of help you are. Here the dictionary bloody has them listed: pride, covetousness, lust, anger, gluttony, envy and sloth.

(Well, I’m sorry.)

You bloody well should be. Doesn’t matter now, I’ve got them.

(Now what are you going to do with them, after all that?)

I’m going to base my other two darklings off them. I’ve got Temptation which might as well just be called Sin, so I might as well have two lesser darklings which are more specific in what they do.

(So Lucern?)

Covetousness I think covers him the best. But I want a synonym.

(Yay [!])

Not in my presence thank you very much!

([!] [!] [!])

Or maybe greed, I know that’s not listed as a sin, but he likes lots of power and money and control… yea, perhaps greed.

(That’s lust you dolt!)

Whatevs. How about Avarice?

(… hrm, I like it)

Good, now, onto the new guy… should we name him? Let’s see, how about… Teron… yes, interesting and slightly new. At least it’s not entirely repetitive. And think, what can his power be. Ohs, I’ve actually thought of something original! Hows about this guy can summon more darklings, lesser ones, that take control of people to do his bidding? Oh, that’s fantastic. I wuvs it! Now, onto his sin. Malapert… whaddya think o’ that? Eh?

(What the hells is malapert?)

Pride, stupid.

(Can’t you call it something easier… like… Condescension?)

But that’s so boring, everyone knows what condescension means.

(Do you want them to go and pick up the dictionary while they’re in the middle of reading this story then?)

No, but I just like names that are a little bit more complex, especially since I’m naming these characters after sins.

(So pick another sin).

… So, what, like Anarchism or something?

(Yes, another).

Pique, Vehemence, Irascibility, Diabolism, Visigoth, Truculence, Vengeance, Lysis, Esurience, Arriviste, Insolence, Impertinence, Impudence, Supercilious… how about that?

(Go overboard why don’t you?)

Any thoughts?

(I think… what if Temptation had a second in command, someone who was hard to raise from the land of the dead, and we need a chick. I think Malapert is fine for a proud bad guy, but give him a lady friend, that would make things fun).

Right, so what if Lysis was Malapert’s besty and they ruled Aeliteir together, the way the country was supposed to be run.

(Good, yes. What about Temptation’s friend?)

Not a friend, more of a monster.


Yes, what if he’s got a little fellow – or big fellow – who ran around killing people and setting aside folk to be sent into the underworld torture chamber, bringing him folkies to give over to the little darklings and generally being badass?

(I like, a name please?)

Visigoth, duh! *face-palm*

(Uh, right…)

I got so sidetracked tonight.

(Yes, but now you have two plots and enough bad guys to start a conservation reserve.)

Thanks. [!]

(Oh, hey! Isn’t Bandar’s power summoning little darklings?)

Yeah, so?

(Well you’ve given that power to Malapert as well.)

Oh shite. Well, maybe seeing as he’s just a little guy, he can have… whisperer summoning powers…

(Whisperers? Now you’re just pulling names out of a hat.)


(What do they do then? *sigh*)

Possess peeps, same as the darklings, only these guys can be kicked out of hosts, whereas to get rid of a darkling you have to kill the host. Less permanent for a less important darkling.

(And Lysis?)



What do you mean ‘eh?’ That is the most simple concept I’ve come up with so far!

(I know, hence the ‘eh?’)

*fumes* Fine.

(Do you realise how far away you’ve gotten from the first plot?)

… Wow, that is a long way. Luckily for me, I haven’t actually started writing the first one yet – let alone the second or third – so I have plenty of time and words to make changes to the first plot so that it all fits nicely together.

(Well bully for you, but how are you planning on doing that exactly?)

I’m not. It’s going to do it all on its lonesome. I’ve given it a plot and characters, I’ve given it direction, a sequel and all it has to do is go where I want. Now that I know I’ve got darklings and sin-possessed peeps it shouldn’t be too hard to get it where I want.

(So you’re just going to let this story write itself?)

Yup, pretty much. Didn’t you know, all the best stories are written by the characters? I’m not the author, I’m just writing down their tale.

(How poetic. Are you finished with this plot thing yet?)

Ah… yes… any more and the characters will have nothing to write. I’ve gotta let them stand on their own eventually.

(So you’re giving them a whole two books to do that in? Isn’t that a bit much?)

*Shrugs* Maybs, but I don’ care. They didn’t do anything in the first one, that was all me and I even started the second one for them. The rest is up to them.

(Great, so get writing).



I can’t.

(And why not, you’ve done it before?)

I’m just not inspired right now.

(So you’re going to let another story rust in the back of your mind? Gathering dust? Forgotten? Untold?)

Yeah, yeah, I get it. Write the story, motivate yourself. But how?

(I don’t know, I’m just the part of you that wants to write all the damn time. Motivation isn’t my forte.)

Yea, I know that. Okay. I’ll set myself a goal then. I will write one page minimum every day until it’s done. Hows that?

(Good, start tonight by editing the prologue that you wrote and is now irrelevant.)

Buts! I’m tired!

(Just. Deal.)


Well, I’m now going to ignore you for a while, coz I gots some brand new ideas that need to be writed down befores I forget them. Kay?


~ by reliquiaen on April 12, 2012.

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